i made a makeup tutorial for all my fellow feminists out there bye
watch itTHIS IS GLORIOUS OH MY GOD
i think the most beautiful sound is when you can hear the shower running at early in the morning because that means someone in the house is probably going to leave soon and that’s one less motherfucker to share oxygen with
if you think your family is dysfunctional remember that zeus got a woman pregnant but she burned to death so he rescued the fetus from her ashes and sewed it into his thigh and gave birth to it himself and that fetus is now the god of wine and sexual deviancy god bless
My great aunt stabbed her husband in the stomach on their anniversary and he decided not to divorce her because he didn’t want a custody battle over the goats.
we moved houses like a year ago and my mom found the garage opener to our old house today so we drove to the house to see if it would work and we saw the new owners working in the garage and we sat there opening and closing their garage for like 10 minutes and they were getting so scared they probably think satan is in their house and im laighinf so hard
blinking is like clapping for your eyes
just remember that ur eyelids are always applauding u and cheering u on even if nobody else is
This is the most inspirational thing I’ve ever heard.